I know that I am not appreciative enough. I know that I am not grateful enough. But I can't help but feel this way. And I can't change and can't try to modify how I really feel. Honestly, why don't I feel happy when I really should? I hate feeling like what you've got is never enough.

I'm so pissed with everything, including myself. It's so hard to put what I feel into characters. Not good enough, not strong enough, not smart enough. I feel like a giant balloon waiting to explode. I want all this to be over. PRONTO.